My Bitter Chemotherapy Pills for Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia

Chester Freeman was diagnosed with bladder cancer and most recently with chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL). Read Chester's blogs here!

Not all chemotherapy is by infusion. There are also oral chemotherapies.

That is what my oncologist is having me do for the next two weeks.

We stopped the intravenous infusions, which gave me a break from that experience. There is an expression we commonly use in our casual conversations that goes something like “Take the bitter and the sweet,” or “That was a bitter pill to swallow.”

Well, I am here to tell you that I am taking a bitter chemotherapy pill! As soon as it touches my tongue, my face begins to cringe. There is also a misguiding assumption that we can taste certain things better in different places on our tongue, but that is untrue. We can taste everything on all parts of our tongue. There are five types of taste buds (bitter, sweet, sour, salty and savory) and mine are working just fine. However, that is not true for my spouse. He has metastatic prostate cancer and went through target-specific radiation and his taste buds have not recovered yet. I have learned that everyone reacts differently to changes in the taste buds with radiation therapy.

For some people, they can recover as quickly as two months but for others, it can take up to two years or more. Unfortunately, my spouse is one of the latter. He went to the local farmer’s market and purchased some fresh raspberry and peach homemade jam. When he got home, he realized he could not taste it. When I put some of the jam on my toast with butter the flavor was subtle but good. I could clearly taste the peach and raspberry flavor. He has been noticing this side effectmore and more as we eat fresh fruits and vegetables. It is frustrating when you like something and can’t taste it. So I try to empathize with him.

The bitter pill that I take has to be taken with food. There is no wonder about that issue. Normally I take this pill first thing in the morning.

So, I have been making my breakfast with cereal and fresh fruit. I am rotating each day with fresh strawberries, peaches and blueberries. Now, I fill my stomach with cereal and fruit and then take the bitter pill with a slice of peach or a strawberry. That makes it tolerable. But there are a few occasions when it slips on my tongue, and I can immediately taste the bitterness blasting through my mouth! I am learning to take the bitter and the sweet in my mouth and in my life! It is the only way that we can get through our trials and tribulations. We have to accept the good and the bad. We have to embrace the positive and the negative.

We have to accept the happy times and the sad times. The bottom line is we must embrace the life we have been given. All we can do is try to find the balance in our life and be as resilient as possible. We have to strive for a positive outcome in our treatment and put up with the bitter pill!

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