Felicia Mitchell

Especially during holiday seasons, we remember loved ones who are not with us. Even long after they have passed, we can cherish old memories and even make new ones with the help of social media. Recently I learned something sweet about my brother John, who died of Hodgkin's lymphoma decades ago, from a high school friend I never knew about.

Cancer is costly. What if I did not have health insurance or a steady paycheck? Would I have fallen through the cracks and died of metastatic breast cancer before anybody told me I was sick? An exercise in role-playing taught me that there is help available.

The mammogram can be an emotional roller coaster for any person. After you have been diagnosed with breast cancer, even good results can tap into deep emotions.

Pinktober heralds the arrival of so much pink that some of us run screaming from the sight of it, despite the good intentions of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. As I explain how I have made my peace with pink, you might feel better about your own choices.

What comfort can you offer when somebody tells you she or he has cancer or, more challenging, that cancer has returned or spread?

Perhaps the last thing anybody wants to think about during chemo is a sewer system. If you live in a rural area, however, getting advice about how to pamper your septic system can be helpful.

When life deals you the cancer card, make your own deck with special role models to help you remember how strong a person with cancer can be. Sometimes little reminders to ourselves in our best handwriting can help us through a rough patch.

Creating a medical family tree is helpful. If cancer is common, noting which branches include it can help inform decisions.

While we are more than the sum of our genes, genetic information is useful as we contemplate health issues, including cancer.

As we survive cancer, people often turn to us for advice. Listening mindfully as we also share personal tips can help others in their cancer journeys. The list of tips can only grow from survivor to survivor. What do you have to share?

Sometimes breast cancer invites us to look closely at our own bodies the way we might look at famous nudes. Creating visual art can be therapeutic, whether it involves photography or digital. Watercolors, sketches and collages could be empowering, too.

Even if being asymmetrical or flat is a valid choice for women who have undergone mastectomies, and that is how I usually feel best, there are no rules that say we should not wear a prosthetic bra now and then, or every single day, if it makes us smile or forget for a fleeting second that cancer can be disfiguring. There is no reason to feel self-conscious.

After radiation, as the skin heals, a compassionate dermatologist can help us to monitor any lingering side-effects.

What if prayers do not cure cancer every single time? No cancer patient or survivor should feel like a moral failure. Here are some suggestions from my experience to avoid hurting others with good intentions.

Cancer survivors need role models. Senator Mary Gordon Ellis (1890-1934) has inspired women in South Carolina for generations. Her ability to juggle cancer and life remains a beacon to all of us.

A complex fibroadenoma, even if it does not become cancerous, can correlate with a family history of breast cancer and an increased risk for cancer. Seeking more information from your doctors about how to proceed can offer peace of mind.

Keeping a journal during cancer treatment is great for perspective. While it can give you insights into symptoms as well as a record of treatments and reactions, it can also give you documented proof of how strong you can be, even years later.

Lymphedema requires diligence all seasons. Do not let icy cold weather catch you or your lymphedema, unaware. Take precautions to protect yourself.

Some cancer survivors are good at getting on with life. Some of us remain timid about the prospect of life, even when a prognosis is good. A new year is a good time to try harder to seize the day, whatever the future is likely to bring.

No-Shave November offers an opportunity for cancer awareness and fundraising. Contemplating whether to join in or not can bring back memories of when there was no choice but to go bald instead of letting our hair go wild.

The annual mammogram can be triggering for survivors. They could use a little more TLC from the system during this annual ritual.

Anniversaries in the calendar of cancer can be challenging. Make new memories to compete with the old.

Chemo brain affects each of us in different ways. Using our brains to negotiate a relationship with it is, ironically, the best way to forge ahead without despairing.

Survivors tend to find ways to trick themselves into feeling better, from “Look Good Feel Better” to prayer. Singing in the shower (or bathtub) has helped me. What strategies have you designed?

Summer fun can be a challenge for survivors with lymphedema. While you should do what your doctor, physical therapist and you have worked out as best for your needs, I share some of my helpful habits here.

When we are surviving cancer, when we want to see everybody else survive it too, another death is hard to take. When somebody passes, we are reminded of our own mortality—and distant losses—even as we mourn. Poetry helps.

Surviving cancer is great, but it does come with a cost: worry. I remind myself often, dealing with an ordinary challenge, that it is not always about the cancer. How do you maintain a good perspective?

As survivors, sometimes we step outside our comfort zones to help groups that raise awareness about cancer along with funds for research. Representing survivorship at a Relay for Life event can be as important as donating funds or decorating luminaries.

Watching current health care debates, we need to take deep breaths and trust that intelligent, compassionate people will make responsible choices affecting a nation. Writing letters to support our choices can help.

If being married is thought to affect how a person survives cancer, Valentine’s Day is a good time for single individuals to reflect on not only lost opportunities, but also the possibility of hope for more than gifts of chocolate.