Surrogacy: Becoming a parent after cancer

In 2010, Lindsay and Tony Giannobile returned from a vacation in Italy, their last "hurrah" before starting a family, but the life-changing news they received wasn't what they were planning for.At 28 years old, Lindsay received a diagnosis of stage 3 HER2-positive breast cancer.Listening to Lindsay talk about her struggles and determination to not let a cancer diagnosis stop her from becoming a mother, I was inspired. Her story could give other cancer patients and survivors hope of having or continuing to have a family."It was our dream to have a family," Lindsay says. Unfortunately, like many other young adults with a cancer diagnosis, Lindsay learned infertility was a risk with her treatment.From what I've learned, not all patients are given upfront information about potential fertility risks before therapy. If I had treatment and learned, after it was too late, that I could've done something to be able to have children of my own one day, I would feel denied the right and ability to have biological children. With chemotherapy, the possibility of infertility may depend on age, type of drug and drug dose. Ifosfamide, chlorambucil and cyclophosphamide are a few drugs that can damage eggs. High doses of radiation therapy can also lead to premature menopause by destroying eggs in the ovaries. Even radiation not aimed at the reproductive organs can still cause damage by bouncing rays inside the body. Several options are available for women who want to plan for a family after treatment, including egg or embryo freezing, using an egg donor, surrogacy and adoption, to name a few. [Read "What to Expect When You're Not Expecting"]The couple chose to freeze embryos before Lindsay started chemotherapy in late 2010 with the hope that she might be able to carry them after her year-long treatment of chemotherapy, radiation and surgery. "We're very blessed that I had babies on the brain," she says. "That really was our only chance at the time."The Giannobiles' plan for Lindsay to complete therapy, be finished with cancer and have a child was derailed when, a year after starting treatment, she learned the cancer had spread to her bones. The cancer, now stage 4, ultimately means she will stay on treatment indefinitely."Tony kept saying, 'God will make it so that we can be parents'," Lindsay says, but at this point, the couple had very few options of starting a family. Surrogacy was their first choice. They would have tried adoption, but Lindsay was told by multiple sources that they wouldn't qualify to be adoptive parents because of her cancer diagnosis."We wanted our biological baby, and we believed that God's plan for us was just that since we were able to freeze embryos successfully," she says.Their first order of business: find a surrogate.Lindsay and Tony reached out to surrogacy agencies and sent emails to friends and family, asking if they knew anyone who might be willing to carry their child.The Giannobiles received a response from Kristen Keighley, who she met during treatment."She said, 'I can do this, I want to do this for you,'" Lindsay says. "We got things started from there."Surrogacy is one of the most expensive options for women unable to conceive. It can cost anywhere from $10,000 to $100,000, which includes doctor appointments, embryo transfer, surrogate compensation and legal fees. Most costs are not covered by health insurance. [Read "The Price of Parenthood"]To help them finance the surrogacy, friends of the couple held fundraisers. Lindsay's friend, Matt Russo, raised $1,000 for every mile he ran in a Columbus, Ohio, marathon. The final total neared $30,000.On May 15, Lindsay and Tony's son, Rocco, was born via caesarean section. Lindsay says words can't describe the experience of watching Rocco come into the world. It is something she and Tony will always "vividly remember.""To think our baby was frozen for about two years, then developed in someone else's body is just an absolute miracle," she says. Lindsay describes their surrogate as a "selfless, selfless person." Kristen, a single mom, works and attends school full-time. "And to add one more thing to her plate, she carried our child."Lindsay isn't ashamed of her decision to use a surrogate and feels surrogacy isn't talked about enough."I think our generation has gotten better with talking about cancer, but surrogacy is a different story."Lindsay encourages others to not give up on the dreams they had before cancer. "Look at the things that you thought your life would consist of before cancer" she says. "I think that is so important."For more information on requirements, costs and support for surrogacy, here are a few resources:> All About Surrogacy

> Circle Surrogacy

> The National Infertility AssociationYou can read more about family planning with cancer in CURE's Summer issue article, "Managing Expectations."