Unexpected Support in Tough Times With Multiple Myeloma

Ronald Chin received a diagnosis of multiple myeloma in January 2017 and has been in remission since October 2023. Catch up on all of Ronald's blogs here!

Despite the overwhelming challenges of my battle with multiple myeloma, I was constantly humbled by the unexpected support and kindness from those around me. As I was going for my appointments, the superintendent of my building and the guys who worked in the adjacent parking garage would drop everything to lend a hand to carry me in my wheelchair up the three steps in my lobby. Their sturdy arms would effortlessly lift me while they shared warm smiles. Though a small gesture, it meant so much to me when even the simplest tasks felt overwhelming. Their strong embrace brought comfort and yet also stirred up feelings of guilt within me. I couldn't help but feel like a burden, relying on them for even the most minor tasks. Their kind words lifted my spirits and reminded me of my limitations. Every day was a constant struggle between wanting their support and feeling ashamed for needing it.

Their selfless acts of kindness were a bright light amidst the darkness of my illness, reminding me that there is always goodness in the world.

My dear friend and feng shui colleague who resided in the bustling borough of Brooklyn came to my aid periodically, lending her hand with the tedious chores around my apartment. Even though she didn't like doing dishes, she diligently washed all our pots and pans, plates, cups and silverware; brought fresh produce from her local market; gifted us bags of groceries; and eagerly tended to any necessary duties that my wife required help with. Though we had only known each other through our professional life, I was taken aback by Ann's unwavering compassion and willingness to assist from afar. Her presence filled our home with a warm, nurturing energy that made me grateful.

When another colleague, Lois, came for a visit, she asked, “What is Anne doing?” When we told her that she would come to help, Lois replied, “I can do that!” Then she began coming regularly and treated us with needed groceries and mundane chores…she even brought her own dish gloves!

Despite my insurance providing an allowance for special bandages, it was not enough to cover the daily changes needed for the deep, ugly wound on my back. My wife and I were constantly faced with the daunting task of affording these expensive gauzes. However, one day, we were surprised and deeply moved when one of the nurses went into the supply closet and gifted us a couple of boxes of these special bandages. My wife, Heather, was overcome with emotion, tears streaming down her face in gratitude for this act of kindness and generosity.

To get a definitive diagnosis of multiple myeloma, it is required to obtain a bone marrow biopsy. After the procedure, I was to meet with the oncology team for treatment options, which were scheduled for the following week. However, we learned that there was a strict protocol for getting a referral from a PCP (primary care physician) to receive authorization to get a diagnosis from the oncology team. At that time, we did not have a PCP!

Throughout this ordeal, my mantra became, "We believe in magic and miracles." With hope and determination, I found a PCP and my wife called our new doctor. Despite never having seen him before, he agreed to provide the necessary authorization as long as I promised to be in his office on our scheduled appointment day. It was another small victory in our battle against the insurance system protocols.

Despite the excruciating pain caused by the broken bones in my spine and the lytic lesions scattered throughout my body, each trip to the doctor's office was a challenge. A cumbersome plastic turtle shell with an extended leg brace held my body together. The rigid plastic shell and metal leg brace were a constant reminder of my broken body. I knew it was essential to go to my follow-up appointment, but the thought of getting into the car and the pain of going over each bump to see the doctor made me anxious. Part of me wanted to pretend everything was fine and avoid going altogether, but I knew deep down that I needed to make sure my body was healing correctly. After several months, it was crucial to schedule a follow-up visit. We asked if it would be possible for my doctor to come to my apartment instead. Initially, he said, “No, I don’t make house calls.” After an hour, we got a call: “Where do you live, and how’s the parking?” Over two years, he made three house calls, a rarity in today's fast-paced and impersonal world. We felt incredibly fortunate to have such a compassionate and dedicated doctor at our doorstep.

Every week, like clockwork, one of our trusted family members, Maureen, would arrive at our doorstep to meticulously sift through the paperwork and files related to our finances. She got our mail and carefully sorted through income, hospital bills, and taxes, ensuring every invoice and statement was accounted for. To this day, I continue to use the same tried-and-true method of using the gray accounting books to keep track of our financial records. Even though it is not a computerized system, it has served us faithfully for years. She also generously treated us to groceries and lunches each week.

We were blessed with the presence of family and friends who traveled from all corners of the world, including Atlanta, New Hampshire, Montreal, New Jersey, upstate New York, and even Switzerland, to lend a hand. They lovingly gave me nightly foot massages, prepared meals, tackled the daunting task of laundry, organized drawers, and offered assistance in any way possible to ease the burden of daily chores. Most importantly, they provided much-needed help for Heather, who couldn't handle everything that needed to be done and had taken on the role of my full-time caretaker without hesitation or complaint. Their selflessness and support lightened the weight on our shoulders and brought warmth to our hearts during a difficult time.

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