A Role Model in Faith and Cancer

One of my closest friends, Bernadette, is a woman I wouldn’t have ever met had it not been for our shared cancer journeys.

I enthusiastically read the feature article, Matters of Faith, in the Summer 2024 CURE® magazine. As a person of faith since childhood, I was pleased to see that 70% of patients with cancer felt their faith strengthened as a result of their diagnosis.

I had mixed emotions regarding my faith following my cancer diagnosis. Though deeply appreciative of friends and other loved ones for their prayerful support, I felt largely unable to speak or sing to God, myself. I was at church weekly and wanted to be actively involved in the Catholic mass, however, my spirit struggled. Hope was a particularly hard concept for me to espouse.

Faith is always the foundation of life for Bernadette.

I was in remission from stage 3B lung cancer when I joined St. Peregrine’s Club, the cancer support group at my church. Grateful to God for healing me, I wanted to be there for newly diagnosed patients, as well as others not as fortunate as I. Only three of us attended our first group meeting in the Fall of 2021; our leader and two others of us were there. Volunteering to recruit additional members, I was able to get a list of names and numbers of patients in treatment, who also lived in our area. Bernadette was on my list.

I called her, and she answered the phone on its first ring. She had a pleasant, appealing voice, and expressed an interest in coming to our next group meeting. It was scheduled to take place a week and a half from then. Although located at a Catholic Church, the support group is totally nondenominational, and I made sure Bernadette was aware of that.

When she arrived with a friend of hers, I said hello to both of them, then introduced them to John, our leader, who is also a survivor. John started the group in our typical fashion: we went around the table, introducing ourselves and each telling our unique cancer story.

When it was her turn to share, Bernadette told her medical story…well, mostly medical.

She said, “I had just seen a stink bug in my garage. I reached up to the high shelf where it had been. It was really hard for me to reach, but I HATE STINK BUGS. Then after falling backward, and later seeing blood, my doctor ordered a colonoscopy. That test revealed cancer. A PET scan determined that malignant cells had spread to my liver.”

Naturally, I have been concerned with Bernadette’s potential longevity; she has stage 4 cancer. However, I also, am totally impressed with her faith in God’s to heal.

Since 2007, she hasn’t missed church on a Sunday, and her spirituality runs even deeper than her commitment to the Assembly of God Church. It made little difference to her whether our support group was non-denominational. Her faith, and as a result of it, her confidence and inspiration are passed on to all her friends, old and new, family members and those she meets daily — whether in the grocery store, or at the cancer treatment center.

She passes out the Christian commemorative coins that John distributed to us one month at group. She is totally genuine in sharing her Christian contemporary music with her newest friends. Bernadette’s faith has grown even stronger since I’ve known her. I refer to her as my role model of faith.

Until almost a year ago, Bernadette continued to work full time in the banking administrative position which she had faithfully held for 40 years, showing loyalty that is almost nonexistent in today’s world.

Bernadette has lived this life fully, yet she has had her share of struggles. In addition to her cancer diagnosis, she has faced difficult times before and since. Bernadette lost her 90-year-old mother a year and a half ago. Bernadette had been her mom’s exclusive caretaker, so that her mom could remain in the home which had meant so much to her.

Just hours before she passed away, Bernadette’s mother praised her daughter to the EMTs who were preparing to take her to a nursing home in an ambulance, “This is my daughter, Bernadette. She is my angel. She has cancer, but she is going to get well.” Bernie was touched, and especially impressed with the words spoken by an individual who had suffered from dementia for ten years.

Bernadette has an amazing number of great friends who support her consistently. However, she has gone through family challenges, especially including the murder of a very special person to her, in the time I’ve known her. Despite this, nothing seems to shake her absolute faith in God. She knows that He will give her what she needs to live her best life, and when the time comes, He will take her gently by the hand and lead her to her eternal home.

I have learned so much about life in the three years I’ve known Bernadette. She has directly and indirectly allowed me to follow my path in life, while clearly keeping me aware of her highest priorities. She’s totally prepared with her financial records and health care arrangements going forward; she has all practical plans in place for when the time comes. Bernadette lives each day fully; she seeks and does what’s best for herself, as well as those who are closest to her.

I visited her recently in the cancer center while she received immunotherapy and supplemental fluids, all the while conscientiously listening to me as I tried to cope with my recent family issues.

Some may question her sensibility in recently purchasing a new patio home, at this time in her life. She is always looking forward to the future, and will enjoy it first with her new welcoming neighbors, and later with her Father in Heaven!

What a woman! What faith! What spirit!

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