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When triple-negative breast cancer showed up at my door, I did what I could to prepare for the visit.
Your presence has become familiar
like the sun shining at dawn
arriving at my doorstep
announcing an extended visit
did I invite you in my carelessness?
did I ring you up to say
c'mon over I'd love to see you
you decided
your visit
your lessons
your judgments were needed
I will change the sheets
stock up on oatmeal and crackers
stand in your light
nod like I care
notice your large suitcase
preparing for a lengthy stay
I will turn off the porch light
so you don't invite your friends
Standing on unresolved terrain
like jello refusing to firm
do I use a spoon or a straw
Medical trauma
no one intact knows
its slippery alleys
its dark corners
its rocky cliffs
you crawl out of your skin every day
hide the mental scars that feel
tattooed on your forehead
No one intact knows
our dreams look like nightmares
No one intact knows
I wish I didn't
Discovering a knobby bit on my chest
blindfolded it would be felt
no worries, the Knowledgeables say
who understands my body better
than the one that's wearing it
this body surprises at times
but I know all the knobby bits
when a new one enters the neighborhood
do I greet it with a fruit basket
or bolt the doors
All I want to know is
who's moving in
is the enemy already in the basement
courting moldy mushrooms
or in the attic sorting through love letters
Are the Knowledgeables
inhaling mildew or love
This post was written and submitted by Clare Olivares. The article reflects the views of Olivares and not of CURE®. This is also not supposed to be intended as medical advice.
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