What I’m Glad I Knew (and Didn’t) With Myeloma

Jack died suddenly on May 25 from a cranial hemorrhage/aneurysm. He was taking a nap after his routine exercise program.

It was quick. He never regained consciousness. I am grateful that he felt no pain or fear.

I will always regret not having a chance to hold him in my arms, say what we said every morning and every night: “I love you more than yesterday,” from a song… start the day with a kiss and say good night with a kiss.

What I am Glad That I Didn’t Know in the Beginning

I didn’t know that the man I fell in love with would have cancer, that multiple myeloma was considered a “death sentence” at the time. I also didn’t know that we would start a cancer charity that would change our life and the lives of many others. Ordinary people can make a difference.

Our story begins with our meeting at a business conference in Boston in 1986, where we both lived and worked. The conference was on alcohol and drug problems in the workplace.

I had my own consulting company that dealt with these issues and he hired me to work with their workforce in Massachusetts and also their out of state engineering and construction projects.

We were both divorced at this time, which we didn’t learn until we had been working together for almost a year. We shared similar interests and enjoyed working together, which grew into our falling in love, getting engaged and planning our future together in 1990. We met each other’s families and friends. It was a happy and exciting time for all of us.

We had a surprise just before Christmas in 1990 when he was offered a promotion and overseas assignment in Holland. Jack had spent much of his early career overseas and was excited about this opportunity to work overseas again. I was nervous but excited at the possibility of living outside of the U.S.

He was given a routine medical review and we were shocked to learn that he had cancer — multiple myeloma. We were fortunate that he was referred to a top myeloma specialist at the Dana-Farber Cancer Center who continued to treat Jack long distance by connecting us up to other hematologists throughout our assignments to four other countries: Germany, Turkey, Ireland and England, until his retirement in 2003. At that point, we decided to settle in Arizona because of the new Myeloma Department at Mayo Clinic.

Hearing those three little words, “You have cancer” changed our lives and also the lives of those who knew and loved us. We were fortunate to have an early and correct diagnosis and the best myeloma treatment available. I was surprised and honored when Dr. Rafael Fonseca, director for Innovation and Transformational Relationships at Mayo and Jeff Trent, CEO of the Translational Genomics Research Institute (TGen), a premiere research center, asked me to help them put on a myeloma conference, which led to Jack and I starting our nonprofit cancer charity, Arizona Myeloma Network.

We provided free annual conferences with the latest information and resources, which then led to my developing our cancer caregivers education programs for all cancers. It now has online as well as in-person seminars. We provide eight educational modules that are interactive, plus a comprehensive resource library for the U.S. and Canada, as well as a confidential online support group for the patient, caregiver and family with the option of talking to a qualified social worker who is on our staff.

What I Am Glad I Learned

It is important to know about your own cancer. But the medical and professional community needs to learn from their patients as well. Also, early detection and the right specialist, treatment, professionals and access to treatment leads to better outcomes.

Ultimately, I’m glad I learned that ordinary people like myself can make a difference.

Love, faith and hope count!

I was blessed to live and love an exceptional human being, Jack Kavanagh, and will carry on our mission that no one will battle cancer alone.

This post was written and submitted Barbara Kavanagh. The article reflects the views of Kavanagh and not of CURE®. This is also not supposed to be intended as medical advice.

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