Rest is Vital After a Cancer Diagnosis

There’s something about a diagnosis of cancer that causes one to realize the brevity of life.

Before I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma (a type of breast cancer), I went through life without a care. I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Post diagnosis, all of that changed. Something clicked in my head that said, “Life is short. You’d better do the things you need or want to do now because you never know how much time you have left.”

That’s when I started living life with intention.

I began to make lists of all the things I needed and wanted to do. After doing that, I began to prioritize all the trips, plans or projects I had listed. It wasn’t an easy task, but it was something that gave me a little bit of control over my life. I could do the things when I felt they needed to be done, but it seemed I had more of an urgency about doing them.

From sunrise to sunset, I felt the need to be busy. Either I was working on things around the house, crafting or going somewhere. My husband noticed my constant busyness and said something about it one day when I mentioned being tired. He told me to quit doing what I was doing and relax. He reminded me I could finish what I was working on tomorrow.

As I listened to him, I realized he was right. I was tired of pushing myself so hard. Why, then, did I feel guilty when I sat in a chair to read a book or watch something on TV? To me, it felt like I was wasting valuable time.

I tried to psychoanalyze myself and came to the conclusion I was staying busy to beat the odds. I’d been granted a second chance at life, and I didn’t want to waste a second of it, but I had to learn to listen to my body, too.

Change didn’t happen overnight. It took months for me to realize it was OK to slow down. I learned to listen more carefully to my body. When my back started hurting after standing for hours hot gluing felt onto the back of hand-painted Christmas ornaments, I realized it was saying, “Rest.” When carrying a heavy load of laundry to the bedroom to fold caused my arms to ache, I almost heard my body say, “That’s too much for you, lighten the load a little.” I could go on and on with examples, but you get the picture.

I like being busy. Being busy has always made me feel productive, but after cancer, I realized I didn’t have the physical stamina I once had. Between that and my age, it was time to slow down some.

Sure, there are folks older than me who still get out and climb mountains or plan exciting excursions, but I think I’ve finally accomplished a goal cancer taught me: my recliner can be a respite from the daily grind and a cup of tea mid-afternoon, as I read a good book. This can be a mini, much-needed vacation.

I don’t know why it has taken me so long to learn that rest is not a nasty four-letter word, it’s a good one. I admit I’m still practicing learning the art of self-care and the importance of physical rest. I can still do my projects; I just don’t do as many in one day as I used to do. As my husband reminded me, “There’s always tomorrow.” And while I know none of us are ever guaranteed tomorrow will come, hope is the thread that binds all my plans together and I’m OK with that.

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