I’m approaching 10 years with stage 4 breast cancer, and this question tops the “most asked” list.
“How do you do it?” I’ve been asked this question in many ways over my years living with metastatic breast cancer. When I’m feeling anxious or a little “salty,” as my kids would say, I inwardly roll my eyes and bite my tongue.
The short story: I do it the same way we all do things, by waking up and getting to it. Gratefully, I am able to actually answer in a kinder manner that may help the person who is asking, whether she’s a patient, a caregiver, or— as has happened to me — one of my own doctors.
The fact is that people living with metastatic cancer don’t have a choice other than Just. Do. It. If we stop, we aren’t likely to be here much longer and, frankly, even when we do everything in our power, we may not be here as long as we’d imagined.
People who enjoy fables will recognize that I have spent the last nearly 10 years of my life living with the sword of Damocles hanging overhead, coming closer but not quite fatally nicking me. Between blood tests, scans, EKGs, an unending supply of doctor appointments, and, of course, treatment every three weeks, the sword sometimes feels more like a piece of paper attempting to take me down through paper cuts. I am one of the fortunate few whose metastatic cancer has been brought under control by drugs and genetics.
But that sword doesn’t vanish.
My “secrets” are no secret. I do the things that we know are helpful but that can be hard to maintain over time:
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