Is It Possible to Forget Having Breast Cancer?

Have you ever had a movie line pop into your head at the most random time? I have. It happens often, especially since two of my kiddos love to watch movies and memorize lines.

The day before yesterday, after a very uncomfortable situation, I had a line from the hilarious comedy, "Major Payne," pop into my head: “Who's the dummy now?" And that line was appropriate for what happened.

It was hot and when I say hot, think inferno, then add some major humidity top of it. My husband and I had been out working in the yard and had both come in red-faced and drenched with sweat. I had the bright idea to cool down using a frozen gel pack. They don't really freeze all the way because of something they put in them (I'm not sure if it's alcohol or what, but it allows them to remain pliable.)

I unbuttoned my shirt and placed the ice pack on my upper chest, just above my stomach. Right after doing it, I wondered why I couldn't feel the coolness from the ice pack. Normally, they're extremely cold and I must use a thin towel to protect my skin from the icy temps. "Oh, well," I thought as I leaned back in my recliner to enjoy a cold drink.

I started reading a book and forgot all about having the ice pack on. About thirty minutes later, I remembered and took it off.

When it was time for bed, I noticed a big red blob on my chest as I was changing into my pajamas. Yikes! That's when I realized what I'd done.

When I had surgery for breast cancer, they sliced me clear across my chest cutting through muscles and nerves. The doc told me I'dprobably be numb in that area for years and years, possible for the rest of my life, and to be careful.

Still feeling no pain, I went to bed but was awakened in the wee hours of the morning hurting. Walking into the bathroom, I lifted my shirt and looked. Huge, ugly blisters had formed on my chest. I had freezer burned my skin!

Who's the dummy now? It was definitely me! I should have thought to put a thin cloth between my skin and the ice pack. I didn't understand how I could be hurting now, though. If I hadn't felt the cold from the pack, how was I feelingpain from the burn?

My youngest daughter helped me figure it out. She said, "Mom, the nerves in your chest muscles were severed, but your skin (the epidermal layer) was still intact. That's why you can feel the pain now." Great!! 

Digging through some beach stuff, I found a bottle of aloe vera and slathered in on my chest. Now I not only had a hideous scar but on top of that a red blobby burn with blisters with green-tinted aloe vera gel. What a mess.

Google says a dummy is a stupid or foolish person, a person lacking intelligence, and I'd have to agree. How could I be so dumb?

It's been 10 years since I had surgery. I guess I'd all but forgotten about my chest trauma. I won't be doing that again! I can't fathom forgetting something like that, but I guess it's a good thing?!? Breast cancer has taken up so much of my life for the past decade. Finally, I've come to terms with all of it and have been living my life as normally as possible.

Dummy, dummy, dummy! Yep, that's me. And I'm the one who'll be suffering for it until this burn heals up.

Note to self: Do not, I repeat, do not ever put an icepack on your skin again without using a layer of protection.

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