I Want to Be "Me" Again

It will be 2 years in June that my journey started.

We, my husband, David and I were living the American dream, at least our dream. I'm a surgical technologist, working in the operating room alongside the Surgeons at the operating field. I loved my job and miss it terribly.

I took a traveling position in April of 2016. We had our motorhome & our adventure began. We were mainly on the west coast, NoCal & Oregon. I noticed in March of 2018 that I had some swelling in my left pelvic area. I sought a doctor's advice and a CT was ordered. I knew in a few weeks I was starting a new assignment in Palo Alto, CA, I would hold off further medical advice until then. I was very fortunate to have a connection at Stanford University, an appointment was made & a needle biopsy was performed that day.

Within an hour I was told I had cancer.

Boom! June 6, 2018, that was the day, like all of you, my life changed. Everything happened very quickly, a PET was ordered, a follow-up and decisions were made. My career was on hold and a trip back home to Charleston, SC to family & friends. The rest is like many of you, lots of doctor appointments, more tests and how to treat this CUP, cancer of unknown primary.

Thank you CURE magazine, I had never heard or seen this acronym until I read an article in your publication! First, it was chemo, then surgery, radiation, more chemo than Keytruda, and immunotherapy that I continue on today. Are there days I feel defeated? Of course! As I sit waiting for my appointment, I am blessed, I see so many others that are suffering far worse than me. But it's when I'm alone that those thoughts creep in, I want the "old" me back! Vibrant, adventuresome, a risk-taker, happy and strong. I have to get back there, no I'll never be the same. There will be a "new" me, wiser, tenacious and resilient! Happy trails.