How Friends and Family Helped After My Cancer Diagnosis

When I first received my lymphoma cancer diagnosis, my world fell apart. As a mom of three daughters, all I could think of was the future. I needed time to digest it all, but then I had to pull myself together and think positive. I had to let others help me through this.

Friends asked me, “How can I help?” I realized that if I gave them a concrete answer, it benefited both of us.

Sending a meal or just soup and bread after treatment was helpful. With a comforting meal, I could feel the love that went into it, and I found that people were happy that I gave them a way to help me. When a friend dropped off a homemade cake, I could also feel the love and support they were giving me. They felt like they were doing something positive for me — and they were.

I told them there were times I might need a ride to or from treatment because I felt too drugged to drive home myself. This was an easy way for someone to know they were helping me. I also appreciated when they offered to drive my children somewhere they needed to go and loved when they offered to take them somewhere fun.

Staying connected to me and emailing or texting, “Thinking about you” with a short message encouraged me. I explicitly let my friends know I would welcome hearing from them. I said, “Please don’t be afraid to contact me. I’ll want to hear from you.”

I appreciated small surprises like unscented lotion and the offer to massage my arms and hands or legs. My daughter gave me a journal to help me express all I was feeling. It was inspirational because it was a 10-year journal with a short space for each year. It helped me write something positive or something I accomplished each day in just a few sentences, with hopes of completing the journal.

I also enjoyed it when I got a call offering to take a walk with me if I was up to it. Especially during my treatment, I tried to push myself to walk. Sometimes, I too, initiated the call.

I appreciated short visits and encouraged those who asked, but emphasized to please call me first to make sure I was up for a visit. I loved when they listened so I could express my fears and when they motivated me whether it was to eat, move or do whatever I needed to do to help myself heal. But I also loved some normal conversations that didn’t focus on my cancer — news about friends and their children or meaningful things they were doing, etc.

But, most of all, I loved when people told me they would pray for me. I thanked them and always told them how much it meant to me. However, they showed their love and support, it helped to put me on a healing path, which is where I needed my focus to be. Whether they cheered me up in some way, or said prayers for me, they helped with my No. 1 job at the time: to heal and get back to living life. I will always remember all these things, big and small that helped me through my initial diagnosis when I was the most vulnerable. Thank God for the love and support of my family and friends.

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