How Breast Cancer Taught Me Resilience in Unexpected Life Challenges

Natasha is a cancer survivor and a physician. She was diagnosed with breast cancer after her very first screening mammogram in 2018. Catch up on all of Nataha’s blogs here!

Many people who have experienced cancer speak about the profound effect it has had on nearly every aspect of the rest of their lives. I personally have found this to be true as well. I was recently reminded of this when an unexpected life event occurred that had a similar jarring effect on me, one that was very reminiscent of the chaos and disruption that a cancer diagnosis causes.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, my life was upended. The fear and uncertainty about the future dominated every moment. It seemed to take forever to reach a point where the idea of cancer wasn’t woven into every single thought. Should I plan that vacation for next year – what if I need more surgery again? Can I make this commitment to that project right now, or should I not even consider this because I don’t want to let people down?

Eventually, those sharp edges that poked into my psyche softened and smoothed out as acceptance slowly took over. But this did not happen overnight, and in fact, seemed to take far too long. The near-constant heightened anxiety and hypervigilance that is a common reaction to cancer seemed to permeate into all aspects of my life.

It was only after months, maybe years, that the gift of perspective was able to reshape my perception and understanding of this experience. Now, as time has gone by, I understand that the unexpected and unwelcome events that life throws at us may be frightening and anxiety-provoking, but there is a degree of control that can be regained in how we react to them.

After a recent sudden and very unwelcome change at work (something akin to a corporate restructuring and across-the-board belt-tightening), one that will definitely impact the trajectory of my career, my instinctive reaction was one of anger, betrayal, sadness and grief. I found these powerful negative emotions to be real, raw, human – and familiar. They were very reminiscent of how I felt immediately after my diagnosis. Back then, I was angry that this had happened, angry that I had to put my everything in my life on hold, angry at my body for what I perceived as a betrayal.

There was absolutely a grieving period as I had to come to grips with losing my illusion of health and the reshaping of my own body image as I had to endure repeated surgeries. But the familiarity of the emotional rollercoaster did provide a somewhat unanticipated benefit. I knew that no matter how difficult this was going to be, I would get through it. I was able to temper my reaction, or at least shorten the duration of my denial, and remember that although we can never control everything in life, there is empowerment and peace that is found by controlling the things that we can control. This includes how I react to situations that are unanticipated, stressful and unwelcome. 

Though I am still currently in the thick of the work drama that hit me like an oncoming train, I still hope that the lessons learned from a cancer diagnosis can apply here too, and that perhaps I might come out the other side of this with fewer scars this time, as I am now older, wiser and more resilient to the detours that life takes when we least expect it.

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