Hope, hope, and more hope....all in the midst of cancer

Chemo day is upon me once again. I'm antsy today and more interested in getting home and enjoying the warm summer day than in occupying this all familiar chair.I had more side effects last treatment than usual even though I'm well acclimated to Xeloda and Oxaliplatin. For the first time in all my Oxali treatments, I experienced severe neuropathy in my hands. Before, the neuropathy was merely a nuisance with some minor tingling and difficulty picking up a card or buttoning a shirt. But the morning after this particular treatment the "pins and needles" appeared with a vengeance and my palms felt as if they were on fire. Enough so that I thought icing them might help. The ice, however, was quickly recognized as a mistake. For a while I sat at the table in dismay trying to remember if my feet had felt this way when neuropathy first started in them. The burning subsided during the day and was replaced with fatigue; followed by summer allergies and a revolving cycle of more minor fatigue and neuropathy.I'm just now finding a balance and yet am fully aware of how much living has happened despite these inconveniences. I flashback to last week's trek to Galveston and the magical sound of Chloe's voice mingled with the lullaby of waves, of watching Katie run with her and making footprints in the sand, and of my parents first glimpse of the ocean. I think of saddling the horses with Karlie and of our laughter as we were drenched by a soothing summer rain. My mind drifts to a recent picture taken by Gilman Wong, Sirtex CEO, of a very special "Hope in the Sky" written by a skywriter above Sydney Harbour. I imagine being there with Ronnie, walking hand in hand, and looking up to capture this image. These memories and dreams come with the hope that the concoction dripping into my veins is doing an incredible job it was meant to do.At the same time, I'm watching the horizon for even more HOPE in the progress against metastatic colon cancer. The webinar produced by Fight Colorectal Cancer and Colon Cancer Alliance offers just that (view webinar)! And tonight, I'll be watching Hope of a different kind on Rizzoli and Isles as my talented friend and tireless supporter, Sharon Lawrence, takes on the role of Dr. Hope Martin. From where you are, I hope you'll be watching with me! Hope, hope, and more hope....all in the midst of cancer.