Becoming a Better Version of Me After Breast Cancer

Bonnie Annis is a breast cancer survivor, diagnosed in 2014 with stage 2b invasive ductal carcinoma with metastasis to the lymph nodes. Catch up on all of Bonnie's blogs here!

There’s a term I heard often after I was diagnosed with breast cancer — “Get ready to face your new normal.” I wasn’t sure what that meant and wasn’t sure I wanted to find out. Why did I need to face a new normal? I was perfectly happy with the normal I had before cancer. I had no idea how much my life would change after cancer, but over the years, I’ve found out.

Before cancer, I lived an uncomplicated life. I took the day as it came and did my best to make the most of it. I tried my best to eat healthy, to exercise, to manage my stress. I knew the general things I needed to do to survive and did them. I didn’t give much thought to how those things might affect my future; now I do.

This is my eleventh year of survival. When I say that, I’m almost overcome with emotion. I never expected to live this long post-diagnosis. In the back of my mind, after I heard “You have cancer,” I assumed that was it. That was what was going to take me out. Since childhood, I’ve often wondered how I’d die. I imagined different scenarios — car crash, drowning, gunshot… I wasn’t trying to be morbid; it was just a curiosity. So, when I was given a bad certificate of health, I thought, “OK. Now I have my answer. I’ll die from an uncurable disease.” And that was that.

Somewhere along the way, my perspective changed. Maybe it was the inner will to survive that gripped my heart. Right after the clock struck midnight and we moved from 2024 into 2025, I had a revelation. This year I needed to create a new version of me. I needed to become version 2.0.

About three days before the end of the year, I’d gotten notice that I needed to renew Microsoft Windows 365 on my computer. When I’d purchased a new computer last year, the company I bought from said I’d need to add on a subscription for Windows. The annual fee was under a hundred dollars, and since I used Windows daily, I told the salesperson to go ahead and tack it on to my bill.

I’ve been working on computers since I was 15, and back then, computers were the size of a small room. They used a type of ticker tape to feed information into them, and they’d spit it back out on command. We didn’t have Windows programs back then, but when Windows 1.0 came out, I was all in. I loved computers and still do today.

Getting that prompt to renew my subscription was the catalyst that pushed me forward. In order to update myself to be a better version, I was going to need to make some changes. I made a list of three things for the start of my renewal program:

• I will exercise daily. When I exercise, I feel good. Exercising releases endorphins, and I need all of those I can get. I’m not going to limit myself to one type of program. While I enjoy walking most of all, I’m going to incorporate weight training, swimming and some form of freestyle dance into my routine. Changing it up will help me stay out of the rut I fall into by doing the same things repeatedly.
• I will guard my heart and mind against stress. Stress is detrimental to my health, and I will do whatever necessary to avoid it. I will unplug, set boundaries and spend time finding ways to celebrate relaxing each day. I’m getting close to 70. It’s too bad it’s taken me this long to realize it’s OK to chill now and then.
• I will learn something new every day. Perhaps I’ll study a new language, take an online class, or learn new cooking techniques. I won’t go one more day without choosing to upgrade myself.

Version 2.0 will be new and unfamiliar. The build will be gradual, but I’m excited to see it grow. And who knows, next year, if this improvement goes as well as I think it will, I’ll start working on version 3.0!

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