A Promise to My Firstborn While Caregiving for My Youngest

While Mark was in the hospital with his young daughter with cancer, he often called his oldest daughter after being away from her.

“A Promise To You" is a deeply personal reflection on the emotional turmoil I felt while being away from my firstborn daughter, Leia (6 years old, at the time), during my younger daughter Chloe's battle with cancer. This poem captures the guilt, longing, and overwhelming love I felt during those days, torn between the needs of both.

Although I spent long periods of time in the hospital with Chloe, Leia’s presence remained constant in my heart. She has always been my emotional anchor, and her fiery spirit gave me strength during some of the darkest moments. In this poem, I capture the tearing of my heart as I am pulled in two directions, and the weight of the promises made to Leia, while fighting to ensure her sister’s and our family’s survival.

A Promise To You

Hey there, my girlie, are you ok?

I know there’s not much I could say

Your sister’s sick, she needs me here

You’re right, baby, it’s all unfair

Your sister sleeps, she’s very ill

I’m sitting on the windowsill

Of course I want to see you soon

I’m dying in this sterile room

Visit? Sure, but now’s not the time

Oh please, don’t worry, she’s doing fine

Her body’s weak, her mouth is sore

Chemo, stem cells, injections more

I’ll soon come back, I always do

I miss you too, I promise you

What’s that you hear? Noise? Confusion?

Nurses came, a blood transfusion

Your voice, child, I love to hear it

Your fire and your fighting spirit

We need it now, more than ever

Give me strength, your weary father

Tomorrow I’ll come through your door

You’ll greet me as I’d been to war

Now let me go, she’s needing me

I want to shield you from her screams

To you, daughter, a solemn vow

I know, you too, need me right now

She will beat this, I’ll see it through

Then I’ll bring us both home to you

This poem was written and submitted by Mark Younce. The article reflects the views of Younce and not of CURE®. This is also not supposed to be intended as medical advice.

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