Anticipating Sorrow
. . . . .
Thank you for covering the untold burden sometimes carried by a caregiver in “Grief Before Death” in the Fall 2007 issue. I spent three days in the hospital room with my husband. After that time, I left to shower, change clothes, and to return feeling refreshed. I was met by a nurse, taken into a private area, and told that he had passed away. Yes, the patient in many instances chooses for themselves what and when the time is right. Through this article, you have cleared guilty feelings that I have carried for six years.

Sally Huebler
Saginaw, Michigan

. . . . .
I am so grateful for the article “Grief Before Death,” as it provided me with the same solace that I feel in my bereavement support group. When my husband was diagnosed three years ago at age 57 with incurable lung cancer (he was a nonsmoker), I really didn’t allow myself to think of an “end”—there was always another drug to try. The few fleeting times of anticipatory grief were pushed aside as I was certain some cure would assuredly become apparent at any moment. Also, the question, as stated in your article, as to how I would manage the house was of too great a magnitude for rumination. Now, 11 weeks after my husband’s death, that anticipatory grief is creeping in to join post-death grief. The combination of pain, loss, and fear is beautifully acknowledged in your comforting article.

Shelly Chasan
Huntingdon Valley, Pennsylvania

. . . . .
Your article on grief expressed the feelings I had during the two years I took care of my husband, who had colon cancer. I will also always remember and cherish his last words to me before closing his eyes for the last time. Again, just reading the article helped me know the feelings I had were shared by others.

Dee Spiker
Unavailable

What is Palliative Care Anyway?
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My radiation oncologist did his best to describe palliative care to me after 14 radiation treatments on my spine last October. I still do not fully understand it. I have survived five years after diagnosis, but this past year, the bone cancer is spreading. I still drive, shop, cook, and clean. The prescribed pain medication works well, but the extreme exhaustion has always been the hardest to deal with. An article on palliative care and what to expect would be very helpful.

Theresae Hallow
Annapolis, Maryland

Look for a feature on palliative care in the upcoming Spring 2008 issue. —Editors

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