Being
Positive?
Dealing with the “tyranny of positive
thinking.”
By
Kathy LaTour
Two months after my breast cancer diagnosis I was
at the park with my 1-year-old daughter, Kirtley, when
an old friend showed up with her two kids. After hugs
and shrieks at such serendipity, we began catching
up. Her quizzical stare told me to go first since my
very bald head made it clear that I had either joined
a cult or was going through treatment for cancer. She
was appalled to hear it was the latter, at which point
she started regaling me with information on why it
was critical that I not let a negative thought enter
my head—or I would die.
She didn’t say
exactly that, but when I look back on it, that’s
what I heard. Of course I told her I was being positive
because, at the time, some
literature suggested that bad, negative people gave themselves cancer, and I
surely didn’t want her to think I was part of that group. Of course, the
reality was that as I told her I was being positive, I was thinking, “Yeah,
I’m positive I’m scared to death,” and fearing that if she
was right, I was sure to die because there were few nights I didn’t lie
in bed and wonder how my daughter was going to manage adolescence without me.
That was almost 20 years ago, and now people who offer
any kind of advice for those with cancer have become
a bandwagon for me. Indeed, a bandwagon from which
they are thrown headfirst to the ground for uttering any admonition to “stay
positive.”
And yet, as it is with any of the purported causes
or cures, those of us who have been through a cancer
diagnosis want to know the validity
and science
of any evidence that may help us live longer or stave off recurrence of our
cancer,
which means we have to take a look at this mind-body information to see if,
indeed, there is any proof that positive thinking will make a difference.
And the overwhelming answer is yes and no and maybe and, like every other
aspect of cancer, who knows. Or as one friend said, “Would you define
positive?”
What We Know
Barrie Cassileth, PhD, chief of Integrative
Medicine Service at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer
Center,
has, as a career, studied, evaluated and implemented
numerous
forms of complementary therapy, including massage, art, music therapy and
meditation. She points out that when the 1980s spawned the “attitude
can impact recovery” issue,
it was not the first time, adding that “blame the victim” attitudes
go back at least to tuberculosis in the 19th century.
“It’s nonsense to think that if you don’t have the right emotions
and thoughts you’ll get sick or you won’t recover. That kind
of thinking is very hard on people with cancer. It affects the patient and
the family in
egregious ways,” she says, adding that making people think they’re
psychologically inadequate often “leads to depression and guilt.”
Not
feeling that you are “doing cancer right” can be a huge burden,
Dr. Cassileth says, pointing out that people as well as their reactions
to cancer greatly differ, and there is no science to indicate that how
a person
reacts
to his or her cancer will impact survival.
It would seem that just looking
at the logic of “positive thinking” would
immediately point out its absurdity. You just learned you have cancer,
a disease that can be life-threatening at its worst and life-changing
at its best. It’s
unimaginable to think you would ignore the fear that comes with such
news. It’s
similar to cancer survivors being told they will get back to “normal” when
any survivor will tell you that our old lives are gone; what we will
make is a new normal that incorporates all the life changes that cancer
demands.
I like best how it was summarized by Jimmie Holland,
MD, chairperson of the department of psychiatry and
behavioral sciences at Sloan-Kettering
and a
key person in
the establishment of psycho-oncology as an oncology subspecialty that
deals
with the psychological, social and behavioral aspects of cancer. In
her book, The
Human Side of Cancer, Dr. Holland devotes a whole chapter to what she
calls “the
tyranny of positive thinking,” explaining it this way: “For
most patients, cancer is the most difficult and frightening experience
they have ever
encountered. All this hype claiming that if you don’t have a
positive attitude and that if you get depressed you are making your
tumor grow
faster invalidates
people’s natural and understandable reactions to a threat to
their lives.”
But what about the studies that point
to how the human body responds to stress or erotic photos? Isn’t
that proof that attitude and feeling affect the body? No, says Dr.
Cassileth. There is no empirical evidence to support the idea that
the way we feel emotionally affects survival after a cancer diagnosis,
except for the rare case when serious depression might keep some
from completing proper treatment (see sidebar).
But what about the Ohio State University
study that found weaker immune systems in patients who are stressed
about their cancer compared
with
less stressed
patients? Barbara Andersen, PhD, began studying women with stage
2 or 3 breast cancer more
than 10 years ago to find out if reducing stress and changing health
habits have any impact on recurrence of cancer. In her study, more
than 200 women
were randomized
to two groups, one that received psychological interventions and
one that only received psychological assessment. Participants completed
interviews and other
measures of emotional distress, social adjustment and health behaviors.
Researchers also examined the activity of natural killer cells
and T cells,
both of which
are critical to the body’s immune system. What researchers
found was no significant change in the number of T cells or killer
cells among both groups,
but the women in the interventions group showed stable or improved
ability of their T cells to multiply, while the women in the assessment
group showed a decrease.
So, what’s the truth? Dr. Andersen’s
team concedes that their research raises more questions than answers.
The
Real Experts
Since my diagnosis with breast cancer,
I have seen every coping method out there. Some women
were crazy
before they were diagnosed
and others
were eternal
optimists;
some stayed exactly the same and some didn’t. I know women
who were grumpy, angry and never had a positive thought who have
lived, and others who were cheerful
and engaged who died.
Patty Ginsburg, marketing director for a local
electric utility in Anchorage, Alaska, was diagnosed with stage
3 non-small cell
lung
cancer in 2004.
Ginsburg, a long-distance runner, quit smoking more than 20 years
ago. “Being positive
for me means trying to avoid easy traps to fall into: dwelling
on cancer, being afraid to make plans, enveloping myself in a cancer
identity. I’ve still
got some life to live, and I’m extremely grateful for the
quality of life I’ve been blessed with.”
Ginsburg underwent
radiation and chemotherapy and is now in remission. She says being
positive means not being afraid to die and letting
go of what
she couldn’t
control, while embracing what she could control. “I realized
that what I could control was huge. How you respond to what happens—that’s
what counts and we have enormous power in that.”
During treatment
Ginsburg says her friends were surprised by how positive she was,
but Ginsburg responded differently to their reactions
to her
attitude than to her husband when he was vocally optimistic about
her future. “I
didn’t like it and told him so, because I didn’t think
either of us should harbor illusions. There’s a difference
between being hopeful and being falsely optimistic.” Other
survivors agree with Ginsburg that identifying the difference between
hopeful reality and outright denial can make
the difference in living through cancer or having cancer control
your life.
Fran DiGiacomo says cancer has made age 45 the average
life expectancy of her family members, so it didn’t surprise
her to have breast cancer at age 40. But it did surprise her to
beat breast cancer and then be diagnosed with
stage 3C ovarian cancer at 54.
“I have had 21 surgeries to date and been on
chemo for seven years,” she
says, before explaining what she calls her “mental management” technique.
DiGiacomo believes that hopelessness can lead to losing the energy
to seek out the best treatment. Her specific plan includes five
elements: spirit, discipline,
laughter, purpose and focus.
DiGiacomo says every element is part
of her plan and necessary for handling the challenges of cancer
and life, also allowing herself
days when her
body and spirit
say it’s time to turn inward—not ignoring her challenges
but taking charge of when she will let them keep her down.
Which
Brings Us To…
I had my “come-to-positive-thinking” resolution
about three years after my diagnosis, when the old “I-am-woman” routine
was wearing off and all the emotions that had not been expressed
(fear, rage, anger, frustration)
finally boiled to the surface. At my annual checkup when my surgeon
told me everything was great, I burst into tears.
It was clear
that there was work yet to be done. She suggested I join the support
group she was forming in her office. It was
in the
support
group
that I learned
we are all different and what works for one person does not work
for another. I also learned the most valuable lesson: Feelings
are legitimate
and should
be honored if not analyzed. I also learned that I can choose how
to respond to something,
and that doesn’t mean to hide the real feeling but to choose
from the smorgasbord of real ways we can respond to the universe
and all the stuff it throws our way.
A number of survivor friends who wanted to talk about
being positive agreed. As a group we decided that feelings are like
a heavy cloud we live with after diagnosis. This cloud holds all
the emotions of cancer—grief, fear, regret, anger—that
if hidden away will allow us to be positive. Pretending the cloud
is not there by keeping it behind us doesn’t work because
it always makes itself present when we relax our guard, and the
energy we exert to keep it back there becomes unmanageable. We all
agreed the best place for this cloud is squarely in front, where
we can decide how to deal with it—controlling it instead of
it controlling us.
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